Sorry I haven't had any new nonsense to post... Started working on another creative short a while ago, but I haven't been able to finish it just yet. So to fill the time gap a bit, I thought I'd add some old posts I had up on facebook that I've been needing to reread a few times lately... So here you go.
This was written in two parts at a point in time where I had a lot of depression and sorrow and really needed something to lift my spirit. The writing style in the latter half was spontaneously inspired by Bradley Hathaway, a poetic artist who uses music in effect to words without song. I'm keeping it as I first posted it, all jumbled together, because that was how it was written and how my mind can be - chaos yet with my own order and trail of thought.
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Some Say it Rains
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Here in the desert rain fails to fall. It is dry and dead. As am I. But then comes along the occasional downpour. Unfortunately, my metaphorical downpour in my heart is not one of fruitfulness and regrowth. In this barren wasteland, the ground doesn't absorb the water and so it simply fills up and floods. That's me. Drowning in a pool of failed dreams, impossible wishes, ancient regrets, and the absolute joy of moments long past that last but a moment before washed away by the intruding, pounding, unrelenting thought that those are but memories never to return. Family members left long behind. Friends forgotten. A heart of excessive sorrow beating ever so slowly only because it must. A desperate leap at life grasping at the last speck of hopes shattered. Time heals all wounds? I laugh quietly inside myself at the irony of such a preposterous thought. It is Time's rigid blade that created these scars. My empty blood-pumping organ inside my chest screams for the One to come and wash it with the tears of understanding and compassion that heal all scars no matter how deep and ugly and bloody. This soul of mine cries out to be renewed, restored, once again flying high, soaring with bountiful laughter and joy that wipes clean the history of doubt and pain. Lord of Life, come sing over me. Prince of Peace, come calm my weary being. God of Grace, hold me in Your arms of impossible love and carry me away to that secret place where no sadness can exist, no pain is present, sorrow is not permitted to enter with You and me there. Holy Spirit, overwhelm me with Your overwhelming peace. Let me jump into the waterfall of Your presence and overflow with pure love and joy unfelt to such an immeasurable extent before by me. Then strengthen my being, let me start seeing the face of the One who is Your Son, and let my identity become true as it can only be in You that I am me. Clothe me in Your righteousness and gird me in Your truth. My love will not be quenched, my faith will not be broken. To the edge of existence I will stand strong, but never alone no matter where my path may lead me, You will never leave me even to the depths of Sheol to the heights of Heaven, I will always choose to believe and not try to conceive any thought that You are not who You say You are. My righteousness will shine like the sun because You are the One whom it all comes from. My scars will be there, but only to share of how I will bear the truth that the Father's Son came down for one who is unworthy, filthy, and dirty, yet He shed red for me and I can truly sing of how Your love has captivated me. Not one tear You have forgot, not one scrape You will ignore for You care and Your eyes stare with the blazing flames of jealous zeal for Your son in which You see a prince whilst I yet see a bleeding mess in my chaotic thought of life and loss, but You do not give up, never lose hope that I may one day become the king you made me to be and rule and reign over celestial beings and heavenly things with You. Father, set my heart ablaze and renew the fire to love as You do. Bring to my mind greater knowledge of You. Open my soul to peace anew. Because I truly do love You.
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